Shinigami ChatRoom
by 1SuperKawaii
Summary: Byakuya and Rukia have an arguement in a chatroom. All your fav characters are there too. Implyed romances, lots of humor.Byakuya/Rukia slight Renji/Rukia
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Bleach. I'm bored and I may add to this. Forgive me if I put this in the wrong category. I love Renji and don't think he's as stupid as I have written him in this. I just needed him for comic relief so forgive me. Lol Someone pointed out I spelled Byakuya Bayakuya in all my fic's and now I have to change it. I'm prob going to be lazy about it and just change it in some I do have other things to do.

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The Shinigami Chatroom

Rukia Hurried down the street to her division in the worst mood ever. She just had a huge blow out with a certain someone and she was sure she was going to make him pay, somehow. She stormed in through the door dripping wet from the rain ignoring the cheerful good mornings from those around her. She walked into her office and slammed the door. She sat at her desk thinking of some way to vent. She logged on to her computer and found an invitation from a BustyBlonde10 to a chat room. She followed the link.

Renji just arrived and gave a big good morning greeting to his captain who only grumbled something and told him to get to work. Renji couldent keep his mind on work. His mind as always kept wandering to a short brunette. He checked his email and found and invitation to a chatroom from 69guy.

Byakuya checked his email around 8:50. He received an invitation from a Chappylover13. He knew very well who it was from and wondered what she was plotting.

When 9:00am rolled around everyone was hiding in their offices avoiding work. A strange rainy front had moved in and no one was interested in outdoor training and the last thing anyone wanted to do was more paperwork. Lot's of people got invitations in their email that day and everyone was bored enough to log in. Everyone knew everyone elses business anyway. Gossip might as well be more readily available.

69guy: Any ladies out there today?

BustyBlonde10: Lets get some sake later. Anyone else?

BigRed6: I guess Rukia you want to go?

ChappyLover13: well I don't have any other reason to stay home thanks to someone.

Kenpatchi: Where is everyone? Anyone want to spar?

Pinklady11: No one can beat Ken-chan.

IloveYoroichi2: Anyone notice how great Yoroichi is as Shunpo

Stuckinbed13: Rukia will you come by my room for lunch and keep me company?

ChappyLover13: Sure captain anything for you

Boredcaptin8: Rukia you can come and visit me in my bedroom to later.

Nano-chan8: *wacks boredcaptin8 over head* can we get back to work now. Why did you even set this account up for me?

Boredcaptin8: Nano-chan it's the only way I can get you to talk to me.

The lightening and thunder continued outside. It seems no one was getting any work done today. Two people continued fuming at their desks and another kept daydreaming.

Kittens

BustyBlonde10: Let's all discuss a topic, any ideas?

BigRed6: So girls do you think tattoos are hot or not?

BustyBlonde10: I can take them or leave them

69guy: Hey you said you liked mine

Chappylover13: I think they are hot.

Imsobeautiful11: I don't know why anyone would defile their skin with such ugly things.

Robotsdoitbetter12: Strange human traditions

BigRed6: you really think they are hot Rukia?

Chappylover13: yeah really hot

BustyBlonde10: I sense love in the air

BigRed6: Hey Rukia you want to skip the bar and have dinner with me tonight?

Ilovemypride6: Abarai stay away from my sister!

BigRed6: Taicho Sorry were just friends I swear.

Chappylover13: Id love to go to dinner with you Renji. I'm tired of spending my evenings with a certain control freak.

IloveYoroichi2: I'd love to go to dinner with Yoroichi will you go with me.

Were-cat: Sure why not.

BigRed6: Ive been waiting so long for you to say yes Rukia.

69guy: He's clueless

BustyBlonde10: Yep so clueless

IloveYoroichi2: Yeah even I can see that.

Ilovemypride6: I'm warning you Abarai, keep your hands off of my sister. Rukia you are to come right home after work.

Chappylover13: What if I don't want to?

Ilovemypride6: You will regret it if you make me come to your division.

Stuckinbed13: I'll make sure she gets home. No worries *coughs*

BustyBlonde10: Ok Time for a new subject before someone gets killed. Kittens, everyone loves kittens right?

69guy: You want me to buy you a kitten cuz I will

BustyBLonde10: Just trying to change the subject and I couldn't think of anything else.

The weather hadn't improved by noon. Everyone logged off for lunch. Most ate alone. No one wanted to go out into this weather. No one was sure if they should log back on or not. Things were getting a little hostile in there but 69guy was the first to log back in and post. It seems no one else could find anything more productive to do so they continued their conversation. This could get juicy 69guy thought. He was going to try to provoke things for a bit of fun. Knowing Rukia nature would take its course and and arguement would be inevetible. He was also hopeing Renji would come to his senses and figure out what was going on. He tried to tell him. He even called him during lunch to try to explain things yet again. But Renji didn't get it at all. He just wouldent believe Rukia could ever be with anyone else.

Single?

69guy: So whose single?

BigRed6: I'm single but I hope I wont be after this evening. Yep I'm going to ask her tonight.

69guy: I've hear that one before. Anyone else.

Doctormom4: Well I'm available. Ukitake-Taicho should come by the 4th. You need a check up and I enjoy your company.

BustyBlonde10: Aww I think that's a safe match and practical. I'm weighing my options right now.

69guy: I give up.

BustyBlonde10: But 69guy can still come over later

69guy: Hell yeah.

IloveYoroichi2: I'm not sure about my status

BustyBlonde12: How can you not be sure

IloveYoroichi2: Well its an on off thing and I have some competition.

Robotsdoitbetter: If I feel the need for a mate I will build one from my own flesh.

69guy: that's disturbing

Imsobeautiful11: Very disturbing. I wish there were someone as beautiful as me to go out with. I wonder if I could be cloned?

Robotsdoitbetter: That can actually be arranged. Do you want a male or female clone of yourself?

Imsobeautiful11: I'll be by after work.

BigRed6: Yep I wont be single tomorrow

Pinklady11: Ken-chan says I'm not old enough to date.

Chappylover13: Well I'm definitely not dating some jealous, self-absorbed control freak who gets pissed at my missing one calligraphy class.

BigRed6: That's a good thing Rukia. You shouldn't date someone like that.

69guy: Your such an idiot Renji

BigRed6: What?

69guy: I'm tired of trying to explain it to you.

Ilovemyprid6: That's enough out of you Rukia and If you want to talk about self-absorbed I know someone who has the nerve to keep forgetting her obligations even though she knows it makes her lover jealous.

Chappylover13: Is that all I am to you an obligation!

Ilovemypride6: That is not what I said.

BigRed6: Rukia did you have an argument with your brother?

Chappylover13: No Comment!

Ilovemypride13: Stay out of this Abarai

BustyBlonde10: um I like kittens

Stuckinbed13: I agree kittens are really cute and yeah cute.

BigRedy6: Why are we talking about kittens again? Rukia are you not happy for some reason?

69guy: Kittens are very cute, don't you think so Renji?

Imsobeautiful11: Kittens are cute. But not as cute as me.

Boredcaptain8: Yes we get it kittens are cute.

Sex

Doctormom4: Since everyone seems so involved Everyone should come to my division at 6pm for a lecture on sex.

69guy: There's a good topic. Will there be demonstrations?

Doctormom4: Why yes I will need participants

69guy: I call Matsomoto

BustyBlonde10: Baka

Robotsdoitbetter: It will be a good time for me to demonstrate my new invention. I have made sex completely obsolete.

Aizen: Its not too late to join me in Hueco Mundo. If you don't want bad luck for the next 1000 years post this 100x.

69guy: I hate spammers

BustyBlonde10: Yeah is anyone even stupid enough to do that.

Bigred6: I cant take chances. Its not too late to join me in Hueco Mundo………..

What do you look for in a mate?

69guy: Ok heres a good topic so what features do you look for in a mate? I like tall blondes, who are well endowed.

BustyBlonde10: Well I like tall dark haired guys, but I also like short white haird guys. I'm not really sure.

69guy: Your killing me.

IloveYoroichi2: I'd like someone just like Yoroichi

ShiroIce10: Matsumoto get back to work!

BustyBlonde10: Fine do you want me to bring some sake?

ShiroIce10: Now!

BustyBlonde10: Always so serious. I'm coming.

BigRed6: I like short girls with dark hair and violet eyes.

69guy: We know Renji. I'm tired of hearing about it.

Ilovemypride6: Renji go clean the toilets

BigRed6: But captain???

Ilovemypride6: Now Renji!

Imsobeautiful11: Poor Renji. How disgusting.

69guy: I don't feel sorry for him anymore, I've never seen anyone take over fifty years to put the moves on someone.

Pinklady11: I like guys who are super strong like Ken-chan

Doctormom4: I would like to date someone who is also skilled in the healing arts.

Imsobeautiful11: Someone as beautiful as me, sadly there just isn't a match.

Boredcaptain8: I love all kinds of women. But I like Nano-chan the best. I wish she would come to my office there's something special I'd like to give her.

Nano-chan8: I'll give you something you wolf!

Chappylover13: Well I especially don't like noodle wearing aristocrat know-it-alls.

Ilovemypride6: That's not what you were saying last night when you were yelling my name.

Chappylover13: We'll see who's yelling whose name later.

Kenpatchi: I just want someone to spar with who wont die.

Ilovemypride6: Rukia we will discuss this later.

Stuckinbed13: Kittens are most useful creatures.

69guy: Yep I like kittens

Chappylover13: Is that a threat?

IloveYoroichi2: That's right Rukia don't take that from him.

Hatncloggs: Hacking in so you don't forget about me.

Ilovemypride6: That's it I'm coming to get you right now.

Chappylover13: oh shit ttyl.

Stuckinbed13: Byakuya be reasonable please.

GreatFireLord1: Everyone get back to work!

The General thought to himself that this internet thing was bothersome and keeping everyone from completing all the work that was surely piling up on everyones desks. Bothersome indeed. But very entertaining. He may not shut this chatroom down yet. Its not like there was anything else to do.


	2. Chapter 2

A companion and part two to Shinigami Chat room.

Well Soul Society is as modern as place as any. They have a daily newspaper like anywhere else.

Rukia picked up today's copy as she sat down to breakfast. Taking the most popular section, the advice column from a rather annoyed Byakuya who kept interrupting her to see if she was done with it yet.

Rukia decided to stop him from this annoyance by reading the entries out loud.

"Ask 69guy and BustyBlonde10"

Dear 69 and Busty,

There's this girl I've liked for a long time. I'm almost ready to tell her how I feel but now I think she might be seeing someone else I don't know who. Should I still tell her? Red

"Oh how sad" Rukia commented. "He seems so sweet. I can't believe she doesn't love him back. I hope he tells her. I'm sure she feels the same way."

Byakuya gave her a blood curdling stare. "What?" She demanded. "You know very well what" he said. She continued:

Dear Red,

Stop being and idiot and open your eyes. You had your shot years ago and blew it. You have two guys ahead of you so if your willing to get inline and wait keep waiting. But we both agree you need to move on.

"Well that's a silly answer" she said. She read the next one.

Dear 69guy and respective BustyBlonde10,

I have been living with this girl for a long time. I'm in love with her and I'm sure she feels the same way. The only problem is that she is my sister. My adopted sister. --- confused.

Dear Confused,

My what a situation. I suppose incest is what your concern is. Luckily our culture has been known to adopt people for the purpose of later marriage. So congratulations.

"Wow now that's just strange." Rukia said while Byakuya blushed.

"Does ni-sama have a confession to make?"

"Read the next one." he changed the subject

Dear 69 and Busty,

I've been living with this guy for many years. I'm pretty sure he's in love with me and I'm sure I'm in love with him. The problem is that people might talk when they hear our situation. You see he adopted me as his sister. There's no blood relation. What do I tell people? ---Worried.

Dear Worried,

This seems to be a common issue lately. People will judge you no matter what you do. So see the answer to the above question and follow your heart.

"Rukia do you have something to tell me?" Byakuya commented.

"Um no." she blushed

"I think we have a lot to talk about Rukia."

She just loved how he said her name.

"We need to stop this Rukia." he said

She shook her head yes. She couldn't have agreed more as she move more closely to him. He put his arms around her and his lips came crashing down on hers. "Shall we take this conversation to my room?"

"I think that would be a productive thing to do." she said with a low voice.

"Good." He picked her up and well you can guess the rest.


	3. Chapter 3

Why Aizen Hates Tabloids

Aizen was so proud of the horrible deed he did yesterday. He thought it would bring him all sorts of attention. After all who else would anyone in Soul Society pay attention to.

The morning paper from Soul Society was deliver a bit late because, well you try finding someone stupid enough to deliver to Hueco Mundo. Aizen unfolded it only to be very disappointed at the headline.

It said in large letters "Incest At The Kuchiki House, more on page 2." In tiny letters at the bottom "and Aizen kills some people more on page 14.

"This is an outrage! He shouted."

"What's going on, now? A puzzled Gin looked at him smiling.

"My story is on page 14 the cover reads well look at this." handing Gin the paper.

"Oh my I always suspected something like that would happen." He eagerly turns to page 2 and started reading, ignoring an agitated Aizen.

"Were just going to have to step up our game a bit. I have a plan."

Aizen was so sure his new bad deed would make the headline tomorrow. But when he picked up the news paper the next day it read

"Kuchiki's caught kissing. Exclusive pictures on page 4."

"Damn it, where is it." He kept shuffling through pages until he reached page 13 and found a small article that read

"Aizen Blows Up Town." It continued.

"Were not really sure which one but its not there anymore."

Aizen was really loosing his patience at this point.

"How is this even news? I've killed nearly a hundred thousand and this is the trash they post on the headline.

Aizen tried again. The next morning he took a sip of his coffee and turned the paper to the front. Spitting out his coffee all over a very shocked and no longer smiling gin he yelled, well since I rated this k+ I cant type what he yelled but it would have made anyone cringe.

"Not again, I thought we for sure had it this time." said Gin

"You mind if I borrow that paper?" Aizen threw the newspaper at him.

"Oh have you seen this photo, Rukia-chan looks so cute. I bet she's a demon in the sack. I often fantasized If I ever had the chance to get her away from all those men always hanging around what I could do with….." Gin started daydreaming.

Aizen had already left the room to work on his next plan to get on the cover of the Soul Society news. His plan, he was sure was so diabolical there was no way it wouldn't be the headline. "I've got it this time." he said grinning evilly.

Sure enough the next morning Aizen had enough. Instead of him being on the cover it read "Rukia Tells All. We have the only and exclusive interview with Rukia Kuchiki and she tells us some very steamy stuff..look inside."

Aizen knew what he did had to be in there somewhere. It was the biggest thing he ever did. Why wasn't it on the cover?

He flipped through the pages one after the other. The Seaweed Ambassador had a full page. There was a half page add for sword stands, Ask 69guy and BustyBlonde10 had two full pages, some guy with feathers sticking out of his eye had a page dedicated to how to wear your sash properly. There was a page dedicated to recent announcements, a page of commentary letters all complaining about one thing or another, even Ichigo had a page reviewing his latest trip to the beach. The main story taking up five pages. There in the back under an add for an escort service and an '86 Honda, he had no clue how anyone even got a car to Soul Society, was the story about him.

"It seems Aizen is up to his old tricks again. We tried to get an interview as to why he did it but its really hard getting cellular reception to Hueco Mundo. Well anyway it seems the completely eradicated an entire country in the living world. Were pretty sure it was Sweeden. My GPS says its right near Brazil. Wow can you believe a whole country? Doesn't Aizen have anything else to do with his time. Anyway have you heard about the Kuchiki family. OMG isn't it scandalous. I can't wait to read the interview."

Aizen just wasn't sure he even wanted to take over Soul Society at this point anymore. He just couldn't believe that people cared more about some strangers relationship then all the horrors that occur in the world. "Now that's just heartless." He said.

He was still determined to get on the cover of the front page. Once he put his mind to something there was no stopping him. So he changed his method.

Sure enough the next morning rolled around and Gin came in with the paper and a questioning look on his face. "Aizen, you know I never concern myself with peoples personal lives but what the heck?"

"I finally got on the cover of that newspaper. I don't care what it says my picture is on the cover." he said happily.

"Um I don't think that's the point and I'm not sure this is good for your immage." Gin says shaking his head holding up the paper.

The cover read "Aizen And Elvis Marry Have Three Headed Baby."

"Relax Gin its not the real Elvis. I cloned and impersonator."

"You didn't even clone the real Elvis." Gin asked.

"Of course not its too difficult to get a hold of a living specimen." he said.

"Wait so Elvis is alive?" He asked slightly excited.

"That's not the point Gin. The point is I got on the cover."

"I think you need a vacation."

Exclusive Interview with Rukia Kuchiki to come.


	4. Chapter 4

Rukia Tells All and were the only news channel in Soul Society to have it. Well were the only news channel in Soul Society. We asked all the questions you wanted to ask and we don't hold back!

Rangiku Matsumoto interviews Rukia Kuchiki live on TV.

"Good Morning Rukia"

"Good morning Rangiku."

"There's so much our readers want to know. What made you come out and

talk to us today?"

"Well first I would like to thank you for having me. I came here on the advice of the elders. They thought it would be best to clarify things."

"I see well so what is exactly your relation to Kuchiki-Taicho?"

"We have been seeing each other for a while."

" Like in boyfriend and girlfriend? But isn't he your brother?"

"Yes I mean no. Were not blood related so its ok for us to marry."

"So marriage is in the future? Has he asked you yet?"

"Well um not yet but its implied." she shifted in her chair uncomfortably.

"Implied? How so?"

"Well he didn't ask its more like he told me."

"So he didn't give you a choice?"

"No I mean yes I want to marry him so its not big deal."

"I got many letters lets read some questions from our readers, shall we?"

"Sure I have nothing to hide" Rukia held her head up sure of herself

"The first one reads, oh and this is a common question, so what's the totally hot Byakuya like in bed?"

"I'm not answering that but you don't see me complaining." she gave a sly smile.

"Ok the next one wants to know if you can post some pictures of him online."

"Oh no you remember what happened the last time the Shinigami Women's Association tried to get a picture of him. I don't have a death wish."

"The next is from a Mr. Red it asks if you have any feelings for your one time best friend Renji."

"Renji is my best friend. I love him very much."

"We have a love triangle. Are you in love with Renji?"

"No its not like that. I mean it was at one time. Crap I shouldn't have said that. Well It's out. I was in love with Renji a long time ago. But when he showed me he wasn't interested anymore by letting me be adopted, I was totally heart broken. But I moved on and changed as a person. I don't feel that way anymore."

"When you say moved on you mean Kaien?"

"Oh geez I didn't expect you to ask about that today. He was married, it was a harmless crush. We were just friends, I swear we never kissed or anything like that."

"Oh so you kissed, don't deny it."

"Well just once. We decided not to pursue the relationship because of his marital status. I respected his wife too much."

"So what about Ichigo? He's so strong and hot."

"Ichigo may be strong and there's no denying he's hot but he is a 15 year old boy. What do you take me for some sort of pervert?"

"Well that's what were trying to figure out. No one knows much about you Rukia."

"So do you think you will someday pursue a relationship with Ichigo."

"What didn't I just tell you no?"

"Oh come on you know you want to. You could easily use your mission as an excuse and Bayakuya wouldn't need to know. Then there's Renji, I'm sure he would take care of your needs if you ever asked. We all need a change once in a while."

"Oh my god do you really think I would do that?"

"So sweet, will you play the faithful wife?"

"I'm not answering any more questions."

"Pweezze we just have a few more" giving Rukia the puppy dog eyes.

"Fine, carry on." she said coldly waving her hand.

"You two really are made for each other. Anyway so how have you two been getting along? That scene in that chat room the other day what was that about?"

"He was just being a jerk, you know how he acts so high and mighty all of the time. We just had a disagreement."

" The neighbors said they could hear the two of you yelling at each other."

"Well it got a little heated but we made up."

"The neighbors said they heard that part too *winks*"

"Well he is still your adopted brother isn't it a little kinky……"

"Chire" called an annoyed Byakuya

Rukia looks up in surprise. Matsumoto starts running for her life along with the film crew. Light fixtures fall down everywhere and broken furniture litters the floor. The cameras however are still transmitting live.

"Rukia I ask you to do one thing." he said standing over her.

"I I I'm sorry the questions just got so.."

"Don't we will have to deal with the gossip for a bit but it will die down after some time."

"I missed you since breakfast." Rukia said cutely.

He grabbed her and kissed her. The kiss got heavy.

" You scared everyone away" she said

"They would not dare to return." he answered kissing her again

"It's a good thing no one is here." she opened the top of his uniform.

"Yes it is." he said removing hers while kissing her neck.

Well the viewers still glued to the screen got an answer to how Bayakuya was in bed. There was no longer a curiosity for pictures. They were getting an eye full for sure. The gossip on this will definitely not die down for quite some time. A certain two people will definitely get a talking to by the Kuchiki elders who were trying to look on the bright side of the situation by hoping for a boy.

Gin was watching from Hueco Mundo "I knew she'd be a demon in the sack." he commented.


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own Bleach.

Not sure if this one will come out too humorous. It may just be romantic innuendo. It all depends on the vibe the story gives me. I'll try for as much humor as possible. I'll have my hands full with this one trying to get two people together in one short chat session. Thanks for all the great ratings.

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Confessions By Instant Message.

Rukia was in the living world again helping out Ichigo. If you can call what she does help. Well she keeps him company and yells at him a lot anyway. She helped clean up after dinner. Things were always happy at the Kurosaki house. She was comfortable there but there was someone she missed.

She said good night to Ichigo, closed herself into the closet, opened the closet again throwing Kon across the room and slid the door shut. She wasn't sleepy but didn't want to disturb Ichigo. She was wondering what her friends back home were doing.

Rukia opened her laptop and logged on to her IM service to see who was awake at this hour. She didn't see anyone she thought she could talk to. Then, it happened, to her pleasant surprise. A window popped up. Now as everyone knows people are more likely to say and reveal things they normally wouldn't online rather then in person. There is also a delicate balance between innuendo and vulgar commentary. Sometimes comments are subtle enough to need translation. This all holds true for two people about to be brought together by fate.

Ilovemypride6: Are you having a good trip Rukia?

Chappylover13: Good evening ni-sama, It's going fine.

Ilovemypride6: Good. Have you been injured in any way?

Chappylover13: No, I'm being careful like I promised. Ichigo does most of the work so easily anyway.

Ilovemypride6: It can not be that easy for him. He is still untrained and immature. It may still be dangerous for you to be around him. I will contact Ukitake-Taicho and have him replace you in this mission immediately.

Chappylover13: Of course his skills are no where near as good as yours ni-sama. Your so strong and powerful. But I'll be fine, don't worry.

Ilovemypride6: Everyone misses you.

(Translated to I miss you)

Chappylover13: Well I miss everyone too.

(Translated to I miss you too)

Ilovemypride6: Why are you not sleeping?

Chappylover13: I'm not tired. How is your insomnia? You seem to have it more when I am gone.

Ilovemypride6: I am very much awake tonight. There isn't anything here, at the moment, to peak my interests and tire me out enough to sleep. Will you be home soon?

Chappylover13: I don't know yet. I hope to be soon. But I promise to keep you company when I get back. I'm glad you are on tonight to talk to me. I get lonely in this closet.

Ilovemypride6: Why are you in a closet?

Chappylover13: That's where I sleep.

Ilovemypride6: You sleep in a closet?

Chappylover13: Well it's Ichigo' room. It's really small and he uses the bed. I sleep in the closet and only bother him when he needs me.

Ilovemypride6: Are you telling me you are sleeping with Kurosaki Ichigo'?

Chappylover13: Yes, It's a small house.

Ilovemypride6: That is entirely unacceptable. Is there anywhere else you can sleep? I should come and bring you home now.

Chappylover13: There's no reason for that I can find somewhere else to sleep. I guess I can crawl into bed with Ichigo, but he might get the wrong idea. Does ni-sama want me to do that right now?

Ilovemypride6: Absolutely not Rukia. Don't you dare leave that closet!

Chappylover13: Are you worried something might happen between me and Ichigo?

Ilovemypride6: Yes I worry very much about you and your relation to that way too young and inexperienced boy.

Chappylover13: Really you do? There's nothing to worry about ni-sama. My virtue is still intact. Besides I prefer older men who are more mature and already set in life.

Ilovemypride6: That is a good thing indeed. So you are not interested in Abarai? He mentions you constantly.

Chappylover13: No were not compatible that way. We have different interests.

Ilovemypride6: How so?

Chappylover13: Well the last time I tried to take Renji to a museum, we stayed less then an hour. Drove me nearly to insanity. You know how he can whine when he is bored.

Ilovemypride6: Yes I'm more then aware.

Chappylover13: He doesn't like spicy food which limits lunch options. He has a tendency to get drunk on sake pass out and leave me alone by the end of the night. I always wondered if he ever noticed if I was a girl. He's so rough with me.

Ilovemypride6: He is an idiot. I would never leave a girl as lovely as you alone at the end of the night and I would surely treat you like the beautiful flower you are.

Chappylover13: Ni-sama that is sweet of you to say. I'm sure an evening with you would be more then memorable. Your such a gentlemen.

(*Blushing wildly*)

Ilovemypride6: If you wish, when you return, we can go to the museum. There is also a certain place I would like to eat you.

Ilovemypride6: I mean eat with you.

Chappylover13: I really like it when we spend time together. I will give ni-sama a memorable evening.

Ilovemypride6: You should not call me that anymore.

Chappylover13: Byakuya-sama?

Ilovemypride6: That's a step in the right direction. It would please me to hear you use my name and drop the honorific. It's an annoyance hearing it from someone as close to me as you.

Chappylover13: I would do anything to please you. Bayakuya.

Ilovemypride6: Would you, really?

Chappylover13: Yes any act you wish for me to perform I will. Promise.

Ilovemypride6: It pleasures me to hear you say that.

Chappylover13: I'd love to do anything that pleasures you. Is there anything you would like me to do to you.

Chappylover13: I mean for you.

Ilovemypride6: There are many things I would like you to do to me.

Chappylover13: Hang on, Kon just asked to sleep with me. He will wake the whole house If I don't let him. He has such a crush on me.

Ilovemypride6: That is the last time you stay at the Kurosaki house. I am coming to retrieve you this moment. Prepare yourself.

Chappylover13: You don't have to its nothing.

Ilovemypride6: I'm leaving now, and Rukia I'll expect you to keep your promise when we get back to the manor.

Chappylover13: I always keep my promises.


	6. Chapter 6

The Soul Society Times

Commentary Section

Dear Editor,

I am extremely angry at the smut you continue to publish in this newspaper. For the last three months we have seen nothing but those damn Kuhiki's on the cover. I, I mean the great and fantastic lord Aizen, has done some amazing, and fearsome things in the living world and no one bothered to report them properly. What is wrong with you people! You will all be sorry.

-King Of Hueco Mundo

Dear Editor,

I'm really disappointed with the response I got from 69guy and BustyBlonde10. I asked about confessing to the girl I have been in love with for a long time and they told me to move on instead of cheering me on. And what exactly did they mean by get in line there are two guys ahead of you? I have never heard of her being with anyone else.

-Red

Dear Editor,

I think you should find some other news. This is really getting old. I'm getting sick of seeing myself on the cover of this damn newspaper. I AM doing my brother! That's right I said it. I'm doing my brother every night. Yes were having hot sex and were getting married next week. I'm not ending the relationship because of you idiots. Its none of your business anyway. Get a life.

-RK

Dear Editor,

That picture you posted of me next to my article about "how to properly wear your sash" was so unflattering. I demand you take another picture of me and not publish the same one next to my new article "don't hate me because I'm prettier then you." You are just jealous of me like everyone else. Oh and don't forget to take lots of pictures of the Kuchiki wedding. I've designed the gown and am in charge of decorations. It will be as beautiful as me, well almost.

- Yumichika

Dear Editor,

You don't have enough articles on Yoroichi. She is so amazing. She can do anything. She's so strong and fast and beautiful. I would really like to see more articles about her. I think everyone wants to know more about her and what she is doing in the living world.

-SF

Dating Section:

Girl seeks Guy

Looking for a good time.

Single hot blonde looking for strong equally hot guy to drink Sake and party with. Must not have any inhibitions.

Lonely and Betrayed

Cute, single, brunette. Likes tall men who wear glasses, have brown hair and are really strong, caring, and can make ones fantasies come true, literally.

Older Professional

Seeking male who doesn't mind being taken care of and isn't intimidated by a woman with a high position. Must also be interested in the healing arts.

Guy seeks Girl

Bald and Beautiful

Single male seeks woman who likes bald men and wont call me baldy and try to chew on my head.

Short but sweet

Serious, single white haired male seeks a responsible, hard working woman who will not mind watching me work.

Hairy but Kind

Single male seeks female to mate with who doesn't mind excessive facial hair, long noses and really likes dogs.

Lazy in Love

Older male who looks young for his age seeks female. All types of ladies welcome. Stop by the 8th anytime and ask for Captain love.

Looking for Love

If you're a petitte brunette with violet eyes and an ice Zanpaktuo, likes to dance, and can go from street rat to princess in seconds I'd love to meet you.

All Smiles

Single male with silver hair seeks busty blonde who doesn't mind long distance relationships.

Other

Loves to fight

Strong captain with eye patch looking for someone to spar with. Should be able to survive at least a lieutenant level hit. Looks aren't important.

Drop dead gorgeous

Attractive single male seeks anyone who likes long walks on the beach, pretty things and talking about me.


	7. Chapter 7

**This is the last page in this series. I have a few more stories to write of vairious types. Since news was such a common topic in this collection. I wrote this like the back of a newspaper.**

* * *

**Contests The Soul Society Times**

**March 13th****,**

**Announcing the 3****rd**** annual Writing Contest for the Soul Society Times. All entries must be submitted by 7pm on 26****th**** of April. One entry per person. You must write one paragraph on your favorite thing. **

**First place winners will receive an all expense paid trip for two to the living world. Runners up will receive a choice of a poster of The Seaweed Ambassador or a Chappy The Rabbit Keychain provided by Chappy Corp. The winners will be announced on the 28****th**** of May. The top contestants will be published.**

* * *

**May 28****th**

**This is the moment you have all been waiting for. The winner of the Soul Society Times contest and a trip for two to the living world is**

**Abarai Renji of the 6****th**** division. A Big congratulations to him were really impressed. I wonder who he will take? We will get an interview as soon as we can.**

**Here are the top entries:**

**The winner chosen by the editor**

**My Favorite Thing By Abarai Renji**

**Her beauty is beyond compare. The way she looks in the moonlight takes my breath away. I would go to any lengths for her. When she walks it is like she glides. When she smiles, she makes the world more beautiful. When she hits me I can feel the love. She is like the moon in the sky, so beautiful, so bright, so untouchable. If only I were good enough for my favorite thing. I will only have to keep fighting harder and getting stronger and maybe some day my favorite thing will love me too. If I win I'll ask her to go with me.**

**Second runner up chosen by the Chappy Corporation**

**My Favorite Thing Is Chappy by Rukia Kuchiki**

**Chappy The Rabbit was introduced in 1977. Chappy is so super kawaii. I have the Chappy book, the Chappy movie both one and two, the entire television series in two languages, the giant plushie, the twelve baby plushies, every monthly release plushie for the last thirty years I don't have the June 1978, if anyone has it I really want it. Lets see, the Chappy blanket in blue and the wool in pink, all six of the CD's including Chappys greatest hits and Chappy Sings The Blues. We have the Chappy cereal every day even though a certain someone doesn't like it. Oh and the Chappy socks, and lingerie collection. I forget the rest its all in this pile of Chappy stuff. Anyway In conclusion I Love Chappy!**

**Third runner up**

**My Favorite Thing Is Battling By Kenpatchi**

**My favorite thing to do is fight. I really wish these Shinigami they keep hiring were stronger. It would really be great if my opponent didn't die so soon into the battle. If there are any captains out there who want to spar, come to the eleventh division. I am getting bored waiting for Kurosaki Ichigo to return.**

**Fourth runner up**

**My Favorite Thing Me By Yumichika Ayasegawa**

**My favorite thing is of course me. I'm the most handsome Shinigami in soul society. No one would disagree with me on that. I have the best wardrobe. I'm the best dresser. I'm such a saint having to tolerate looking at all of you. I'm so wonderful because I bring beauty to this ugly, ugly world. **

**Honorable Mentions:**

**My Favorite Things Is My Pride by Kuchiki Byakuya**

**Sake Is My Favorite Thing by Ikkaku Madarame**

**Blondes Are My Favorite by Shuhei Hisagi**

**Yoroichi Is My Favorite Thing by Soi Fong**

* * *

**Arts & Entertainment:**

**Monday and Tuesday only the Seireitei Center For The Arts is hosting an art exhibit. It will feature such great local artists as Kuchiki Rukia, and Kuchiki Byakuya. Come see these true geniuses masterpieces. 5-10pm.**

**Wednesday:**

**Yumichika Ayasegawa gives a lecture on make-up application at the main confrence hall 8am-4pm. All Captains required to attend.**

**Cooking with General Yammamoto Shinigami Studio 3. Need new audience members as the normal ones are still in the burn unit. Will be televised live. 6-7pm**

**Thursday:**

**The Fine Art Of Breaking Into Byakuya' house featuring Yachiru Kusajishi. She will be signing her book with the same title.**

**All participants should meet at the front gate of the Kuchiki manor by 3pm. The 4****th**** division will be standing by.**

**Friday:**

**Girls night out hosted by the Shinigami Women's Association just show up at the Lucky Shinigami Strip Club on W. 3****rd****ST around 7pm bring cash and a healthy appetite.**

* * *

**Money Opportunities:**

**Mayuri Kurotsuchi needs 2 male and 1/2 female, well 1/3 will do, to participate in a medical experiment. Pays well. Bring mangos and an umbrella.**

**Now Hiring new guards at the Kuchiki house. Being able to spot short pink haired girls a must. x6666**

**Looking for girls who resemble Yoroichi. Discretion a must. Call x2222**

* * *

**Housing:**

**Captains bedroom available for cohabitation in the 8****th**** division. Girls only. See Nano-chan for details.**

* * *

**Wanted:**

**June 1978 Chappy Plushie. Will pay handsomely. Don't tell Rukia. See Bayakuya Kuckiki.**

**Looking for 1999 Aizen-Taicho trading card. Platinum series. Contact Momo.**

**The Shinigami Men's Association is looking for a place to hold meetings. If you have any extra space any at all please let us know.**

* * *

**For Sale:**

'**89 4 door Honda. Brown. Make an offer. Contact the Shinigami Men's Association. Please no questions.**

**Sajin Komamura' special Flea & Tic spray. Guaranteed to work or your money back. x7777**

* * *

**Auction:**

**Due to budget cuts everything must go at the 12****th**** division. We have anti-gravitational devices, robot sex slaves, alien clones, giant super computers, patio furniture and much much more. Sunday at 9am.**


End file.
